I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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