You smell like stripper and shame
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
