Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
