Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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