the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
