So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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