we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
