Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
