We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
