You work out of a Hotel?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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