didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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