Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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