waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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