Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i think i just lost a toe
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