At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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