I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
