I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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