I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
