Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
