he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
