She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
