ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
