just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize