i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
