I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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