All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
