There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
