i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize