Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
