i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
