I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
