and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
