so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The adults are the big ones right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
