Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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