dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
