There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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