Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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