And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
