Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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