eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
