I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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