I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
