I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
