You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
