it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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