dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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