some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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