i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
