okay pat passed out under dana's car
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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