forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
