Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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