At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
