at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
