i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Everything about him screamed your future.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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