i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
