YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So. Much. Porn.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
