you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
