all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You're like the curious george of whores
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
