Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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