how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize