So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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