would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sarcasm needs its own font
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize