i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
